A.P. Atkinson - Seth Godwynn

Blips is a completely free novel that might be worth even less than we charge for it. Do you desperately want to know the real story of the collapse of the universe? Are you aching to understand the true nature of the power of a discarded banana? Does your soul cry out with the irresistible urge to know what would happen if a dragon flapped its wing somewhere in the wider multiverse causing golf not to be invented until a few hours later than before? Of course not!

"Number 2 stepped inside the room, the door slamming shut behind him with a definite, and very satisfying clatter of locking machinery. It sounded much like a flock of metal seagulls crashing into a bulletproof glass wall, beyond which they could see a mountain of dead fish piled up inside. The thought occurred that perhaps metal seagulls didn’t eat fish, but then on the other hand, maybe they did."

Quote from 'Blips.' It's all just as staggeringly bewildering as this. It relentlessly crashes into you until you just basically accept it.

"Number 2 huffed and glanced around the workspace. In his little corner was a white office. Yesterday it had been a cave, filled with strangely gothic computers. The day before that, he had felt sure they had been on a space-station orbiting a very large kitten."

Quote from 'Blips.' What happens is that the longer you read, the more it begins to make sense.

"There was always a cupboard in there somewhere that would be filled with food and drinks: it was just a question of finding it. Sometimes, it was nicely labelled and filled with excellent food from around the infinite multiple universes. Other times, it was a bunch of squirming things tied to a hairy mammal that wandered around the room, dropping things out of foul- smelling holes. You could never tell what you were going to get.”

Quote from 'Blips'. It all comes down to the bananas, you see.

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Number 1 and Number 2 work to monitor and protect the universe. From their office, a workplace that can manifest itself in any manner it chooses, they carefully watch all of reality, just in case the worst happens.

They exist as disembodied entities, floating into whatever physical form is available after applying for jobs that seemed a whole lot better before they knew exactly what they’d be doing.

But nothing can possibly go wrong, all of creation exists in infinite, beautiful forms and nothing could happen to change that.

Until one day…

A banana…

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